Language is fantastic. We can use it to create completely unique sentences, never before uttered in the history of mankind. However, we mostly just say things like “I’m going to the store,” “Stop scratching that, it’s from the President,” or “Mother ran off with the butcher.”

Feel free to use these new sentences in daily conversation. I guarantee they are fresh. (If used in commercial work, I require a one-time payment of $9.99.)

Slap me silly, I’ve left yogurt on the senator’s doorstep.

Tad is no more and no less a man than you are, Brenda.

The camel––what was left of him––had spread over the asphalt like a smashed creamsickle.

Please accept this award on behalf of the Academy, Mr. O’Keefe.

Mad Libs are great!