When Writers Attack
I’m not allowed to have any friends due to the court order, but I imagine that being friends with a writer must be frustrating, like someone in your house constantly […]
Strange Characters You Can Have For Free
I have to de-clutter my life. If these characters give you joy, please take them and write a ten-book young adult series with them. Bobby Moist — Terror of Dripping […]
Top Ten Top Ten Lists
Top ten lists are either the work of Satan or the zenith of human endeavor. For those too young to remember Letterman or those poor souls hodlering Bitcoin inside a […]
Ladyfingers Banned in the U.K.
Ladyfingers, the popular and tasty biscuit, have been banned from sale and pulled from shelves in the United Kingdom, Belgium, and Vanuatu this week after the World Court ruled the […]
Two Free Books Today Plus Complete Edition on Saturday!
The Girl Who Stole A Planet and A Girl Called Badger are free for download through this Saturday, October 6 to celebrate the release date of The Complete Amy Armstrong. An […]
The Complete Amy Armstrong — now available for preorder
Prepare yourself for the arrival of the entire five-book story of Amy Armstrong! On October 6, 2018, the entire five-book series will be available in one ebook. Extra material added […]
Paperback of “The Last Amy” Now Available!
LISTEN UP, kids with your parent’s iPhone — the IRL version of Book Five is available for purchase at Amazon.com for the low price of $9.99. A “book” is actually […]
The Last Amy is now available!
The Last Amy, the final book in the Amy Armstrong series, is available in ebook format on Amazon for $2.99. Paperback arriving soon. With Pacific Grove High School a smoking […]
I Threw My Windows Through A Window
After spending five minutes in front of any computer, most people begin to see the value in the Amish lifestyle. As for myself, I simply resort to violence against all […]
$8.99 Paperback of Homecoming Now Available
The paperback of “Homecoming”, Book Four in the Amy Armstrong series, is now available on Amazon for $8.99 American dollars. A variety of other currencies accepted in person. https://www.amazon.com/dp/1981059253
Amy Armstrong: Homecoming Now Available!
People said that it couldn’t happen, that it wouldn’t happen, that it SHOULDN’T happen, but those people were wrong, and they were also late for the hairdresser, so stop shouting […]
INCOMING: Amy Armstrong Book Four
Fans of Amy Armstrong will be happy to hear the next volume in the series will be arriving shortly on Amazon for all electronic devices and ebook readers! Non-fans of […]
Writers are Assholes
The cat walked up to me, out of the blue. “I want to be a writer,” he said. I slammed my special writing pen with the puffy pink feathers onto […]
Dank Meme, Marching Dragon
Yesterday, I heard a noise like a hundred cats being strangled in the back of a moving van that was driving down the highway constantly blowing the air horn. I […]
Fair-trade Underwear and Cruelty-free Gussets
This whole “fair-trade” and “cruelty-free” issue has been popping off since last week, when I came back from Neiman-Marcus with a gorgeous, puffy pink chiffon dress still on the hanger. I […]
Have a Berry Mary Valentine!
Despite the fact that Valentine’s Day is banned in every Muslim country, all 47,061 states in America, and the Vatican, this cherished holiday has always been celebrated in the little village where […]
Three Free Books on Valentine’s Day!
Against my better judgement and the advice of my accountant, my lawyer (and his lawyer), but most importantly––the cat-–I have decided to provide two free ebooks during the national holiday […]
The Amish Spaceman 