Top ten lists are either the work of Satan or the zenith of human endeavor. For those too young to remember Letterman or those poor souls hodlering Bitcoin inside a bamboo hut in Fiji, top ten lists are clickbait, and clickbait is how Daddy puts Uncrustables on the table. I found this list dropped in the foyer of a very pleasant motel in downtown Stopped Reading Already.

10. Top Ten Strippers To Remove Paint And Also Your Wallet

9. Top Ten Authors Who Can Write Three Sentences Without Adderall

8. Top Ten Books Heavy Enough to Chock A Dump Truck With Or To Hurl A Dangling Preposition At

7. Top Ten Places to Retire Where They Hate Belgians

6. Top Ten Bus Drivers That Are Smarter Than You And Have A Bigger House

5. Top Ten Ways to Drive Your Chiropractor Insane

4. Top Ten Four-Letter Words Used By Your Chiropractor

3. Top Ten Chiropractors Accepting New Patients

2. Top Ten Flemish-Speaking Exotic Dancers

1. Top Ten Strip Clubs in Brussels That Accept Bitcoin