Valentine’s Day falls on a Saturday once every thirty years and creates the cursed, malevolent whirlwind of chaos and suffering that in my village we call “Friday the Valenteenth.” Local […]
Are you a writer? Do you have the same energy that you did when you caught the writing “bug?” When children crossed the street to avoid the windmill of your […]
Men are ignorant pig farmers with tiny brains say seven out of ten women, a gender that agrees on practically nothing but the belief that men are ignorant pig farmers […]
When it’s 3 AM in the long, dark night of your soul, most people think about life, where they went wrong, and why they drank fourteen cups of coffee. Me? I think […]
American kids are lazy and mean, and make fun of me when my back is turned. This happens more frequently than you would expect, because anytime I see a child, I […]
My next book, The Roman Spaceman, will be released tomorrow. The soundtrack is a perfect accompaniment to reading the book, waiting at the ophthalmologist’s, or visiting the local funeral parlor. “Mambo […]
I’m finishing up the sequel to “The Amish Spaceman” and will be publishing it within a few weeks. I’m at a bit of a loose end as to what to […]
In preparation for my trip to England, mother has reviewed my wardrobe and found it lacking. She’s had the servants toss out all of my garments and burn them in […]
Mother has a bee in her bonnet over the mysterious disappearance of Robert Denby, and she’s sending me to London in her private jet. Of course I’m going! You’re a braver person […]
It’s universally accepted among dentists and convicted felons that a movie is better than a book. In the style of the ubiquitous “Eat This, Not That” series, I present the […]
In the past week I’ve spent several 28-hour days at a peculiarly popular southern California theme park. I am happy to inform everyone that visiting theme parks as a ‘thing’ […]
If you’d like to review The Amish Spaceman in exchange for a Post-Release Advance Review Copy (in other words, the book), then send me a message. Email, carrier pigeon, it’s […]
An imaginary child I passed in the street today asked me what was my favorite line in “The Amish Spaceman.” It’s difficult to separate out specific lines, much in the […]
Copies are going fast! Hurry and get one before the elves at Amazon put on a strike. They have to type each one by hand, you know! The Amish Spaceman […]
The Amish Spaceman is available at Amazon for $2.99. I wanted to have a party in honor of this momentous occasion, but since mother and the cat are the only […]
Questions are floating through your mind right now. Who’s this devilishly handsome author? What’s a book soundtrack? Where are my pants? I can only help you with the second question, as […]
The publication date of my third novel, The Amish Spaceman, is approaching rapidly, and in fact, will happen within the next few days. Not since Halley’s Comet crossed the skies […]
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Just because you CAN read Moby Dick doesn't mean you should!
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