Freitag der dreizehnte!
I don’t believe in superstitions apart from spilling salt, knocking on wood, 666, black cats, opening umbrella indoors, picking up pennies, walking under ladders, breaking mirrors, crossing my fingers, snapping a […]
Tag Archives: humor
Sexy Amish Women
Nothing on this site has received more hits and garnered more attention than my Valentine post on “sexy Amish women.” I’m not even joking about this. Is it really that lonely in Pennsylvania […]
Rejected Book Covers for The Roman Spaceman
The worker bees (they don’t like to be called elves) spent hours in Microsoft Paint and sifted through dozens of royalty-free images to come up with the stunning cover of […]
The Roman Spaceman Launch!
The Roman Spaceman is now available at Amazon and on all Kindle-supported devices for $2.99. Purchase now and receive the Extra Special Limited Edition cover! (Next month the cover will […]
Roman Spaceman: The Soundtrack
My next book, The Roman Spaceman, will be released tomorrow. The soundtrack is a perfect accompaniment to reading the book, waiting at the ophthalmologist’s, or visiting the local funeral parlor. “Mambo […]
Next Project
I’m finishing up the sequel to “The Amish Spaceman” and will be publishing it within a few weeks. I’m at a bit of a loose end as to what to […]
More Legendary Ebook Marketing Secrets of Doom
Since my previous installment of “Legendary Ebook Marketing Secrets of Doom,” telegrams have piled in front of my door and emails have clogged the arteries of my inbox. Never teach your […]
Le Franch Are Coming!
I, like many Americans, was unaware of a clause in the Treaty of Versailles, which requires that during the week preceding Easter the entire school-age population of France is exchanged with […]
English Dress Code vs. American Dress Code
In preparation for my trip to England, mother has reviewed my wardrobe and found it lacking. She’s had the servants toss out all of my garments and burn them in […]
Why is England?
Mother has a bee in her bonnet over the mysterious disappearance of Robert Denby, and she’s sending me to London in her private jet. Of course I’m going! You’re a braver person […]
Ten Careers To Consider If You’ve Gone Mad And Decided To Become a Writer
Writing is literally an insane proposition: lock yourself in a closet and pound away at a post-apocalyptic vampire brony crossover series so that people you will never meet in real […]
Watch This, Don’t Read That
It’s universally accepted among dentists and convicted felons that a movie is better than a book. In the style of the ubiquitous “Eat This, Not That” series, I present the […]
The Denby Files––Acclaimed Male Model Now Missing in Action
HOLLYWOOD, CA––The elusive Robert Denby, well-known catalog model and face of the recently published novel, The Amish Spaceman, disappeared from his loft apartment in West Hollywood yesterday. According to alleged […]
My Pants Are On Fire
In the past week I’ve spent several 28-hour days at a peculiarly popular southern California theme park. I am happy to inform everyone that visiting theme parks as a ‘thing’ […]
Sexy Post of Valentine Fornication
I’ve been told by an elderly relative that sex sells, but in my particular case it’s always been a net drain on the old bank account. Who can tell? Life’s […]
Meme Overload, Quote Destruction
What’s worse than padding a blog post with overused Internet memes? Nothing. Here’s another favorite quote from my book, The Amish Spaceman: “Shut up and listen, former ex-boyfriend.” Joanie turned, […]
Author Simulator 2014
Do you have too much free time? Do you gape in awe at the glittering piles of treasure surrounding the famous authors of our time, and think, ‘That could be […]
The Amish Spaceman 