I, like many Americans, was unaware of a clause in the Treaty of Versailles, which requires that during the week preceding Easter the entire school-age population of France is exchanged with that of England. The reasons for this this are lost to a chomp from the hoary maw of time, but be assured––this foul requirement continues to the present day. Hardly had I alighted from my train carriage in Paddington before I was engulfed in a tidal stream of pubescent Continentals, swatting each other on the backsides with their Europasses and licking each other in the ears with the same disgusting relish as cattle on a salt block. The din of Gallic warbling was enough to drown out my screams to my man as he ineptly transferred my baggage from the train to the platform. I don’t normally shout at the servants, but if I learned anything from Robert Denby, it was to set a good example in public.

I am hopeful this “French invasion” will not interfere with my work while in London.