All I Got From Paris Was Fleas
Mother went on a howling tirade last week after I found her stash of “liquid medicine” in the conservatory, made “Molotov cocktails” and threw them all at the “cat.” As […]
Tag Archives: nice images
Sexy Amish Girls: The Reckoning
Father ran away from home at the tender age of thirty-two, after mother left the ziti on the stove too long. Not counting that stain on the couch, he left my […]
Felicitous Non-Denominational Spring Day!
In an attempt to avoid offending atheists and Unitarians, the Government has renamed “Easter Sunday” to “Non-denominational Spring Day.” Since this recent action has offended more people than were originally […]
Sexy Amish Women Friday the Valenteenth Deluxe Overlord Edition
Valentine’s Day falls on a Saturday once every thirty years and creates the cursed, malevolent whirlwind of chaos and suffering that in my village we call “Friday the Valenteenth.” Local […]
You Beach
Maui is an island in the Pacific Ocean and extremely warm, a fact I discovered too late to change my vacation plans as the plane was already in the air. I knew from experience […]
I Love Brazil
I think Brazil is super-great even though I’ve never been there and the people are super-cool even though I’ve never met any. Well, there was that one time I showed […]
America So Laxy
American kids are lazy and mean, and make fun of me when my back is turned. This happens more frequently than you would expect, because anytime I see a child, I […]
Freitag der dreizehnte!
I don’t believe in superstitions apart from spilling salt, knocking on wood, 666, black cats, opening umbrella indoors, picking up pennies, walking under ladders, breaking mirrors, crossing my fingers, snapping a […]
Sexy Amish Women
Nothing on this site has received more hits and garnered more attention than my Valentine post on “sexy Amish women.” I’m not even joking about this. Is it really that lonely in Pennsylvania […]
Rejected Book Covers for The Roman Spaceman
The worker bees (they don’t like to be called elves) spent hours in Microsoft Paint and sifted through dozens of royalty-free images to come up with the stunning cover of […]
Next Project
I’m finishing up the sequel to “The Amish Spaceman” and will be publishing it within a few weeks. I’m at a bit of a loose end as to what to […]
More Legendary Ebook Marketing Secrets of Doom
Since my previous installment of “Legendary Ebook Marketing Secrets of Doom,” telegrams have piled in front of my door and emails have clogged the arteries of my inbox. Never teach your […]
Even More Real Photos From London
More photos from my trip during Easter. More photos are at my Facebook album right here.
Real Photos From Cambridge, the United Kingdom, Earth, Third Planet Past the Sun
Egads, the lack of security! They’ll let anyone in Cambridge these days.
Real Photos From My Trip to London Where I Took Photos of Things in London
Here are some photos of my trip during Easter! Fantastic weather, by Jove. For more photos, visit my album at Facebook. Cheers
Le Franch Are Coming!
I, like many Americans, was unaware of a clause in the Treaty of Versailles, which requires that during the week preceding Easter the entire school-age population of France is exchanged with […]
English Dress Code vs. American Dress Code
In preparation for my trip to England, mother has reviewed my wardrobe and found it lacking. She’s had the servants toss out all of my garments and burn them in […]
