Dank Meme, Marching Dragon
Yesterday, I heard a noise like a hundred cats being strangled in the back of a moving van that was driving down the highway constantly blowing the air horn. I […]
Tag Archives: meme
Have a Berry Mary Valentine!
Despite the fact that Valentine’s Day is banned in every Muslim country, all 47,061 states in America, and the Vatican, this cherished holiday has always been celebrated in the little village where […]
The Lady Doth Protest
Mother says it’s unladylike to raise my voice, but when I tell her I’m not a lady, she locks me in the laundry room for three days with only a […]
Gotta Catch-22 ‘Em All
I’ve never told anyone this, but I’m a victim of child abuse. When mother lets me walk to the drug store, I never fail to meet a handful of nine […]
Emergency Ice Cream Delivery
Ever since the King of America declared that eating ice cream is a fundamental human right, my frozen treat business has more headaches than a woodpecker without his helmet. You’d […]
All I Got From Paris Was Fleas
Mother went on a howling tirade last week after I found her stash of “liquid medicine” in the conservatory, made “Molotov cocktails” and threw them all at the “cat.” As […]
Hot Christmas Babes
Christmas is a traditional American holiday when families gather in the desert for a week, strip off our clothes, and take bags of drugs. By removing the trappings of civilization (and our […]
Felicitous Non-Denominational Spring Day!
In an attempt to avoid offending atheists and Unitarians, the Government has renamed “Easter Sunday” to “Non-denominational Spring Day.” Since this recent action has offended more people than were originally […]
Government Makes Crime Illegal
Washington, D.C., March 28, 2015 –– In response to the appalling rise in gas station robberies by Chinese doctoral students and the nationwide pandemic of electrical engineers on drug-fueled rampages, the Government has […]
I Googled “Love”
The girl behind the counter had waves of long, copper-colored hair beneath her Dairy Queen cap, deep green eyes, and a smile that made me want to grab her pale hand […]
America So Laxy
American kids are lazy and mean, and make fun of me when my back is turned. This happens more frequently than you would expect, because anytime I see a child, I […]
Top Pet Peeves That I Hate
My dream of becoming a lingerie model slash astronaut will never come true, but my other dream of making fun of people is in full bloom. If you’re wondering why […]
English Dress Code vs. American Dress Code
In preparation for my trip to England, mother has reviewed my wardrobe and found it lacking. She’s had the servants toss out all of my garments and burn them in […]
Amish Spaceman Meme Party Deux
Copies are going fast! Hurry and get one before the elves at Amazon put on a strike. They have to type each one by hand, you know! The Amish Spaceman […]
The Amish Spaceman Available Now!
The Amish Spaceman is available at Amazon for $2.99. I wanted to have a party in honor of this momentous occasion, but since mother and the cat are the only […]
