HOLLYWOOD, CA––The elusive Robert Denby, well-known catalog model and face of the recently published novel, The Amish Spaceman, disappeared from his loft apartment in West Hollywood yesterday. According to alleged […]
In the past week I’ve spent several 28-hour days at a peculiarly popular southern California theme park. I am happy to inform everyone that visiting theme parks as a ‘thing’ […]
What’s worse than padding a blog post with overused Internet memes? Nothing. Here’s another favorite quote from my book, The Amish Spaceman: “Shut up and listen, former ex-boyfriend.” Joanie turned, […]
Do you have too much free time? Do you gape in awe at the glittering piles of treasure surrounding the famous authors of our time, and think, ‘That could be […]
One would think that no pick-up line could be worse than “Is this your condom? I think you dropped it,” but after many hours of clandestine research in female dormitories […]
Only the abnormal would aspire to be a writer. Would anyone else but the mentally imbalanced lock themselves in a room away from other people, day after day, typing away […]
I applaud the fact that more and more young people spend their days and nights on the long-form poetry of social media communication. As adults we should strive for one-hundred-percent […]
Like many of you I sometimes lie awake at night, heart pounding, mind racing over age-old questions such as: Am I a good person? Am I doing the right thing? […]
Frequently mother forgets to unlock my room in the morning or even for days at a stretch and I must find interesting ways to whittle away at the stick of […]
Like many of you out there in TV Land I always read bedtime stories to my children partly with an Australian accent and partly in a County Cork brogue. Of […]
There are no rules in the deadly world of self-publishing. Editors? Expensive. Cover artists? Superfluous. Adjectives, adverbs, prefaces, acknowledgements, dedications, and notes to the reader? Required and to be used […]
Top ten things you never want to hear from emergency personnel (as conveyed to me through a pick-up window whilst my EggWhite McMuffin was broiling): 10. I haven’t done this […]
Nobody respects the poor peanut. He used to be the man, the star, the dapper danny who danced across a million commercials on a million screens. He used to a […]
Social butterflies like me have a few weapons in our arsenal when the conversation flags or when it has died and gone to bed, the sort of hypothetical questions that […]
I take care of things when the Master is away. He told me to write a post for him even though technically he’s here and not “away.” He’s trolling Craigslist […]
Some of you who know me or work in small-claims court have raised concerns about the novel such as “You can’t be serious,” “People pay money for this?” and “If […]
It is problem when: 1. you’re writing fan mail to yourself because the only people who bought your 1000-page Cuban/high fantasy mashup “Lord of the Mambo Kings” were your mom […]
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