More Legendary Ebook Marketing Secrets of Doom
Since my previous installment of “Legendary Ebook Marketing Secrets of Doom,” telegrams have piled in front of my door and emails have clogged the arteries of my inbox. Never teach your […]
Tag Archives: writing
Le Franch Are Coming!
I, like many Americans, was unaware of a clause in the Treaty of Versailles, which requires that during the week preceding Easter the entire school-age population of France is exchanged with […]
English Dress Code vs. American Dress Code
In preparation for my trip to England, mother has reviewed my wardrobe and found it lacking. She’s had the servants toss out all of my garments and burn them in […]
Why is England?
Mother has a bee in her bonnet over the mysterious disappearance of Robert Denby, and she’s sending me to London in her private jet. Of course I’m going! You’re a braver person […]
Ten Careers To Consider If You’ve Gone Mad And Decided To Become a Writer
Writing is literally an insane proposition: lock yourself in a closet and pound away at a post-apocalyptic vampire brony crossover series so that people you will never meet in real […]
Watch This, Don’t Read That
It’s universally accepted among dentists and convicted felons that a movie is better than a book. In the style of the ubiquitous “Eat This, Not That” series, I present the […]
The Denby Files––Acclaimed Male Model Now Missing in Action
HOLLYWOOD, CA––The elusive Robert Denby, well-known catalog model and face of the recently published novel, The Amish Spaceman, disappeared from his loft apartment in West Hollywood yesterday. According to alleged […]
Sexy Post of Valentine Fornication
I’ve been told by an elderly relative that sex sells, but in my particular case it’s always been a net drain on the old bank account. Who can tell? Life’s […]
Meme Overload, Quote Destruction
What’s worse than padding a blog post with overused Internet memes? Nothing. Here’s another favorite quote from my book, The Amish Spaceman: “Shut up and listen, former ex-boyfriend.” Joanie turned, […]
Author Simulator 2014
Do you have too much free time? Do you gape in awe at the glittering piles of treasure surrounding the famous authors of our time, and think, ‘That could be […]
Didney Worl
If you’d like to review The Amish Spaceman in exchange for a Post-Release Advance Review Copy (in other words, the book), then send me a message. Email, carrier pigeon, it’s […]
Favorite Quote from the Book
An imaginary child I passed in the street today asked me what was my favorite line in “The Amish Spaceman.” It’s difficult to separate out specific lines, much in the […]
Amish Spaceman Meme Party Deux
Copies are going fast! Hurry and get one before the elves at Amazon put on a strike. They have to type each one by hand, you know! The Amish Spaceman […]
The Amish Spaceman Available Now!
The Amish Spaceman is available at Amazon for $2.99. I wanted to have a party in honor of this momentous occasion, but since mother and the cat are the only […]
Amish Spaceman: The Soundtrack
Questions are floating through your mind right now. Who’s this devilishly handsome author? What’s a book soundtrack? Where are my pants? I can only help you with the second question, as […]
The Spaceman Cometh
The publication date of my third novel, The Amish Spaceman, is approaching rapidly, and in fact, will happen within the next few days. Not since Halley’s Comet crossed the skies […]
Pick-Up Lines Worse Than Mine
One would think that no pick-up line could be worse than “Is this your condom? I think you dropped it,” but after many hours of clandestine research in female dormitories […]
The Amish Spaceman 