The Spaceman Cometh
The publication date of my third novel, The Amish Spaceman, is approaching rapidly, and in fact, will happen within the next few days. Not since Halley’s Comet crossed the skies […]
Tag Archives: comedy
Pick-Up Lines Worse Than Mine
One would think that no pick-up line could be worse than “Is this your condom? I think you dropped it,” but after many hours of clandestine research in female dormitories […]
Tyrolean Goat Milk Ice Cream
Only the abnormal would aspire to be a writer. Would anyone else but the mentally imbalanced lock themselves in a room away from other people, day after day, typing away […]
Keep on Booking That Face
I applaud the fact that more and more young people spend their days and nights on the long-form poetry of social media communication. As adults we should strive for one-hundred-percent […]
How To Make A Car
Like many of you I sometimes lie awake at night, heart pounding, mind racing over age-old questions such as: Am I a good person? Am I doing the right thing? […]
Things To Do When Bored Or In Fresno
Frequently mother forgets to unlock my room in the morning or even for days at a stretch and I must find interesting ways to whittle away at the stick of […]
A Shower of Dingos
Like many of you out there in TV Land I always read bedtime stories to my children partly with an Australian accent and partly in a County Cork brogue. Of […]
Legendary Ebook Marketing Secrets of Doom
There are no rules in the deadly world of self-publishing. Editors? Expensive. Cover artists? Superfluous. Adjectives, adverbs, prefaces, acknowledgements, dedications, and notes to the reader? Required and to be used […]
Stop The Ambulance, I Want To Get Off
Top ten things you never want to hear from emergency personnel (as conveyed to me through a pick-up window whilst my EggWhite McMuffin was broiling): 10. I haven’t done this […]
The Master Drives Off A Bridge
The Master said that most people only read books that other people read, so they can be part of the “tribe” or at least pretend. He went on for ages […]
Peanut
Nobody respects the poor peanut. He used to be the man, the star, the dapper danny who danced across a million commercials on a million screens. He used to a […]
Throwing Stars For Your Conversation
Social butterflies like me have a few weapons in our arsenal when the conversation flags or when it has died and gone to bed, the sort of hypothetical questions that […]
When The Master is Away
I take care of things when the Master is away. He told me to write a post for him even though technically he’s here and not “away.” He’s trolling Craigslist […]
My Fan-nie Valentine
Some of you who know me or work in small-claims court have raised concerns about the novel such as “You can’t be serious,” “People pay money for this?” and “If […]
You Know It Is Problem
It is problem when: 1. you’re writing fan mail to yourself because the only people who bought your 1000-page Cuban/high fantasy mashup “Lord of the Mambo Kings” were your mom […]
The Vorpal Stick of Justice
When you grow up with the same people (whether family, friends, or wards of the state) there’s a shared set of experiences. But even with “sharing” similar experiences and YouTube […]
Post-Virus Struggle To Survive Girl
I go down to coffee shop because book is out. Brother work in coffee shop––so what? My family not have cigar factory and own car and use paper money like […]
The Amish Spaceman 