I go down to coffee shop because book is out. Brother work in coffee shop––so what? My family not have cigar factory and own car and use paper money like you. Anyway, he nine already.
Coffee shop not full and he sweep with mop. It not my problem, it economic. Federal Reserve have loose monetary policy.
“Brother,” I say with slap on shoulder. “My book is publish!”
He forget and spit on floor, then sweep it up. “You always come here to say you publish book this, book that. It is like working of clock.”
“But Pyotr, this is my first book,” I say. “You are talking about Uncle Misha. He have multi-volume young adult detective werewolf space man series that release every three weeks.”
“Oh yes,” said Pyotr. “That is right. He have unique take on young adult detective werewolf space man category. It not same rubbish of vampire girl or post-apocalyptic struggle to survive girl. What is your book about?”
I shrug shoulder. “It is post-virus struggle to survive girl.”
“You mean, protagonist is surviving from girl? Is she mean and hairy?”
“No, girl is girlfriend of boy who struggle to survive. Do you want to buy?”
Pyotr lean on mop and sway back and forth like Stevie Wonder at luxury piano. “Eeeee … if there is giant lizard I buy one. Is there giant lizard?”
I nod. “There is. Giant lizard very fierces. He represent man’s inhumanity to man.”
Pyotr raise hand. “Stop! This not spoiler forum. I buy one of your books. Do you have change?”
“Change for what?”
He laugh hard, bending over with hand on knees. “Change … for your ugly face!”
The Amish Spaceman 