And Lo, The Book

And so, the book has come forth.

But hark, cast thine eyes upon yonder slightly tubby and balding gentleman, with fists full of rubles, gold, and gems beautiful like diamonds in the sky.

He rubbed his wide belly and turned from side to side. “Where mayest I lay mine hands upon thy book,” he sayeth. “Ein Madchen Namens Dachs?”

I inhaled and spit upon the ground with the force of ten geography teachers. “Trollop! Speak not my mother’s tongue in my presence!”

He bobbed and weaved an apology. “Ten thousand Dolly Partons, kind sir. But where can I buy the book?”

“Amazon,” I said, taking out my phone. “Look, here’s the URL.”